Monday, September 9, 2013

Extreme Day Dreaming

More than usual lately I've found myself 'zoning out' for extended periods of time day-dreaming. And the phrase day-dreaming doesn't even cover it... that makes it sound like I'm picturing fluffy white clouds and birds on my shoulder...

I think EXTREME day-dreaming is a bit closer to the truth, it gives you the idea that this is the bigger bolder brother of day-dreaming (who has a dark side).

You see most of these extreme day-dreams (let's call them X-dreams) revolve around me venting at people. Usually shouting, maybe being witty or cruel but sometimes my X-dreams escalate to brutality and I dream about hitting out too.

I'm not overly concerned about this; I've known for many years I have anger issues and I meditate regularly to keep myself calm and on an even keel. So I'm not worried that I'm going to act out one of my X-dreams... I just wonder... is this normal? Does anyone else do this?

I know I can interrupt the X-dream and focus my mind on the present moment to let it go, but I think it's happening more and more lately because I'm finding them useful as a mental vent.

For those unaware my father has bone marrow cancer (myeloma) and I guess none of the family are coping brilliantly. I certainly have felt a LOT more frustration and anger well up inside as I'm dealing with the various details of the disease and it's treatment, so maybe the X-dreams are just my mind's way of releasing those emotions.

Anyway if anyone out there has experienced anything similar, or just wants to let me know that I'm dangerous and should probably have myself committed... then let me know. All feedback is appreciated. 

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